MY BROTHER WAS PRETTY UPSET WHEN HE REALIZED THAT SANTA CLAUS DIDN’T BRING MY DAD BACK*

Kids Help Phone counsellors brace themselves for kids’ heightened feelings of sadness and loneliness during the Holiday Season

TORONTO, ON – November 4, 2010 The happy holiday season can be a myth for many young Canadians. As early as mid-November, kids, teens and young adults across Canada are showing signs of tension, worrying about more than just what will be under the Christmas tree.  Kids Help Phone counsellors know that “the most wonderful time of the year� also brings its fair share of stress.

Divorce. Depression. Loneliness. Budgets. Illness.  Unemployment. Hectic schedules. They don’t sound like kids’ issues, but they are. “Families want their holidays to be special and happy for everyone, especially the children,� says Louise Longo, one of the 100 Kids Help Phone counsellors that will be available day or night to talk to young Canadians this holiday season.

“Kids learn early on that the holidays are supposed to be picture-perfect family gatherings filled with wonderful gifts. They don’t know how to cope with their own sadness, loneliness or anxieties when the pressure to have a good time is quite high.�

Kids who reach out to Kids Help Phone during the holiday season will share concerns and questions that overwhelmingly fit three categories;

Family Issues: kids are heading into the holidays with their parents’ divorce looming over the season, or are adjusting to their first year in a blended family, or the reality of spending their holiday in a new foster home.

Peer Issues: some of them are worried about being left out at school if they don’t have the latest hi-tech gadget, others are finding it hard to reconcile what they see and hear about the holidays with their family’s own religious or cultural traditions.

Managing Emotions: the holidays are a particularly stressful time for the anxious kid, who has to deal with the parties and the disrupted routine. New Year’s Eve may also be a time for sad reflections, and for some it can trigger an overwhelming sense of low self-esteem because of the pressure to be invited to parties, or to celebrate with a special someone.

Whatever the source, the stress is very real. Adults need to learn to read the signs; a young person who becomes withdrawn, moody, or depressed could be showing symptoms of holiday stress.

Kids Help Phone, Canada’s leading mental health youth counselling service, believes kids have the ability to find answers and solutions in creating their own healthy outcome.  Counsellor Louise Longo recommends that caregivers take the time to talk with their kids about how they’re feeling, and be supportive of their kids’ suggestions on how to alleviate their stress.

“No one is immune to intense feelings. It’s important that kids know someone’s there to listen,� Longo says.

Here are some suggestions to ensure the holiday season lives up to its reputation:

• Take the opportunity of a talk (or family discussion) to refocus the holidays. Steer kids from material goods and ask for their ideas; it could be a family outing to go skating, or tobogganing. It could be to attend a multi-cultural event or service in celebration of the season, or even to help out, as a family, at a food bank or soup kitchen.

• Consider starting a new family tradition. It could be the Hooray for the Holidays Movie Night, complete with hot chocolate and cookies; a Family Board Game Night, or something as simple as a Pizza Night, where everyone sits down to help wrap gifts.

• Don’t underestimate how a blended family can impact your kids; you may be looking at crazy schedules, more obligations, change of traditions, and lots of time traveling between gatherings and get-togethers. Involve the kids and lay out the schedule in advance to ensure they feel acknowledged.

• Pay attention to your own stress, and talk to friends for support as you add holiday preparations to your already hectic life.

• Don’t overschedule your kids, or plan extra chores or play dates for them around the holidays. Remember they’re on holidays and need some down time, too.

About Kids Help Phone
Kids Help Phone is Canada’s only phone and online counselling service for youth. It’s free, anonymous and confidential.  Professional counsellors are available any time of the day or night, 365 days a year, to help young people deal with concerns large or small.  As a national community-based charity, Kids Help Phone relies on individual and corporate donations to fund these vital services.

About Louise Longo
Louise Longo has worked with young people in a variety of settings, from handicapped kids in Victoria, BC,
to families and kids in shelters in the Toronto’s downtown core. She has spent the last 14 years as a full-time counsellor with Kids Help Phone; Louise has worked both the nights and day shifts, responding to young people’s questions and concerns by phone and online.

*   post from Kids Help Phone Ask Us Online counselling service, edited to protect the anonymity of the client

Learn more at: www.kidshelpphone.ca

Tags: Christmas, difficulty, family issues, holidays, kids, Kids Help Phone, managing emotions, peer issues, stress, teens, tension, youth