As your busy little bees start preparing for the beginning of a whole new school year, it seems as though there is a huge list of things that have to get done, but are not really fun. Here are a few things that will put a smile on both your and their faces… and make back to school a much more enjoyable experience!
Jazz it up! Instead of buying a new lunchbox and pencil case, try decorating last year’s! Give it a whole new look. Start by taking a trip to your nearest arts and crafts supply store and picking up some glitter glue or fabric paint along with other decorations. Spend an afternoon transforming last years boring lunchbox in to this year’s super cool, uniquely self-decorated lunch box. It will be different to everyone else’s, and you will have less trouble finding it amongst all of the others!!
Mighty muffins! Reduce the morning breakfast chaos by making a variety of muffins in advance and then freezing them. Of course, everyone has a favourite. Below I have included my favourite oatmeal muffin recipe. It is from a cook book that I worked on with cookbook author Norene Gilletz (Norene’s Healthy Kitchen). The recipes calls for ½ cup dried cranberries or raisins, but you can substitute that for a ½ cup of your family’s favourite add-in (see notes below for ideas). If you are not an experienced baker and would prefer, you can purchase a muffin mix from the store. I would recommend an oatmeal or an all-purpose mix. These two will taste great with any additions.
Double Oats Cranberry Muffins
You will need:
1 cup whole wheat or all-purpose flour
¾ cup rolled oats
¼ cup oat bran cereal
1 ¼ tsp baking powder
½ tsp baking soda
1 tsp ground cinnamon (I use 2-3 tsp…my kids love cinnamon!!!)
1 large egg (or 2 egg whites)
1/3 cup canola oil
½ cup lightly packed brown sugar
1 cup plain non-fat yogurt (flavoured yogurt would work too!)
½ cup dried cranberries or raisins
Method:
1. Preheat the oven to 400F. Spray compartments of a muffin pan with a non-stick cooking spray (or line with paper liners).
2. In a food processor fitted with the steel blade, combine the flour, oats, oat bran, baking powder, baking soda and cinnamon; process for 5 seconds to blend. Add the egg, oil, brown sugar and yogurt; process for 25-30 seconds or until smooth and blended. Stir in the cranberries or your own additional ingredient with a rubber spatula.
3. Scoop the batter into the prepared muffin pan, filling each compartment three quarters full. Bake for 20-25 minutes or until the tops are golden brown and spring back when lightly touched.
Yield: 12 muffins.
Notes:
This recipe scan be doubled easily
The muffins freeze well for up to 3 months
Some delicious add-ins include: shredded carrots, semi-sweet chocolate chips, blueberries, strawberries or raspberries or mixed berries, grated apple and / or shredded cheese.
Use re-sealable plastic bags and labels, when freezing…that way, on a busy morning you know exactly which muffins are where!
Lessen the stress! Here are some tips to help make the transition into the new school year a little easier on everyone…
1. Getting back to basics with bedtime: If your children have been keeping summer hours, like mine, and going to bed later than usual… try to start putting them into bed at a more “school suitable” time.
2. Becoming locker savvy: This year my daughter has a locker for the first time… I have taken the time to let her practice with her combination lock, so that on the first day she will not be anxious about it!
3. Friendly faces make for a great first day…During the summer, kids often go to camp with different kids than with whom they go to school. Take an afternoon and plan a play date with another child with whom your child will be going to school. By spending time beforehand with a child that may be in their class, they will have a friend to “hang with” on their first day.
4. Everything in moderation…Take your kids to the grocery store and let them pick out some fruits, vegetables and other yummy items that they would like to take in their lunch boxes. They are more likely to eat a lunch that they have played a part in planning. Don’t forget the treats!
5. Fashion Frenzy! Take some time the night before to help the children pick out their clothes for the next day. There is nothing worse than a child wanting to wear their favourite t-shirt for the first day only to find out that it is in the wash!
6. Question Session: Ask your child about their concerns about going back to school…see if you can give them some ideas or answers that may alleviate their anxiety. Some common concerns for kids, especially kids new to a school, include: Where is the bathroom? Will I have a friend in my class? Will I like my new teachers? How does drop-off and pick-up work?
There is definitely a lot of joy and trepidation associated with the start of a new school year. I find that being organized and maintaining consistency seems to lessen my anxiety and the whole family’s. Kids are smart and very perceptive. If we appear calm, ready and confident, they will feel the same way. Their attitude towards the start of the school year will be one filled with positivity and excitement. Full Steam Ahead!!! (… and good luck!!)
Shelley Sefton is a chef, recipe developer & creator of “Yummy in my Tummy” - classes for kids that offers them the opportunity to experience exciting adventures in the kitchen – combining education, art, food and most important of all FUN! Contact: (905) 597-0672 or sdsefton@rogers.com.
(Toronto, July 13, 2010) Visitors to the Ontario Science Centre have a lot to look forward to this fall with three new temporary exhibitions and a duo of OMNIMAX® films on the bill. Planes and trains will speed through the giant domed theatre, while mythic creatures, whales and natural disasters engage children and adults alike. These new exhibitions are included with general admission to the Science Centre, providing great value for visitors and members.
Shoppers Drug Mart® OMNIMAX® Theatre:
Legends of Flight Opens Sept. 24, 2010
This visually captivating film explores the relationships between natural flight, advanced design and innovative technologies that have brought us to the dawn of a new era in aircraft design. Legends of Flight takes viewers on the maiden voyage of the world’s most anticipated commercial aircraft, Boeing’s 787 Dreamliner.
Featured Exhibitions
Mythic Creatures: Dragons, Unicorns and Mermaids Oct. 9, 2010 to Jan. 9, 2011
For thousands of years, fantastical creatures have been embedded in the human experience through legends and fables, ancient art, and even in the accounts of early naturalists. Mythic Creatures: Dragons, Unicorns & Mermaids will include spectacular sculptures, paintings and textiles, along with a number of cultural objects ranging from shadow puppets to ceremonial masks and helmets from around the world. This exhibition will bring to light surprising similarities as well as differences in the ways people have envisioned and depicted these strange and wonderful creatures.
Whales/TohoraNov. 6, 2010 to Mar. 20, 2011
Explore the dramatic undersea world of whales in this magnificent exhibition alive with stories, intriguing objects and interactive science. See a sperm whale hunt giant squid, understand echolocation, hear astonishing whale calls, crawl through a model blue whale heart, build a digital dolphin and see if it can swim, learn intuitively about hydrodynamics, explore whaling history and be amazed by giant skeletons. Learn about the special relationship between whales and the Maori of New Zealand though the Maori culture’s rich whale-riding stories and traditions.
Nature Unleashed Late Jan. 2010
From earthquakes and volcanoes to hurricanes and tornadoes, nature has shaped our dynamic planet. Throughout history, these catastrophic phenomena have affected people around the world. Uncover the causes of these natural disasters and find out how people cope and adapt in the aftermath. Discover what triggers a volcanic eruption, witness the power of hurricane-force winds, experience the roar of a tornado as it surrounds you and monitor earthquakes around the world in real time. Learn own science is helping to better predict, respond and prepare for future events.
Seasonal Offerings
Dream MachinesDec. 2010
The holiday favourite returns! The world’s largest collection of Emett machines will be on display in the Great Hall. Highlights include the “Humbug Major Sweet Machine” made famous in the film “Chitty Chitty Bang Bang”. Get inspired by the fanciful creations of cartoonist Rowland Emett.
About the Ontario Science Centre
The Ontario Science Centre uses science as the lens to inspire and actively engage people in new ways of seeing, understanding and thinking about themselves and the world around them. Our facility has received Green Building certification for energy efficiency by the Building Owners and Managers Association (BOMA), and was named building of the year in the Public Assembly category. The Ontario Science Centre is an agency of the Government of Ontario. For more information, visit www.OntarioScienceCentre.ca or call our box office at 416-696-1000.
As a child, I remember one of the most exciting memories associated with going back to school was buying school supplies. There was something magical about filling my pencil case with brand new markers, pencil crayons and erasers.
Stuck on You has taken that experience to the next level with their new Designer Collection. Children can now take pride in their new school supplies, and the fact that they are personalized with their own name.
You can place your child’s name on everything from lunchboxes to backpacks, pencil cases to name dots and more.
My own children were thrilled with their own Stuck on You products … and I got a little of that back to school supply giddiness watching their big smiles. In fact, my kids are continuing to browse online and plan their next wish list. They find navigating the Stuck on You site easy, and adore the online feature that lets them view the products in different colours and designs.
There is a bonus for parents beyond squeals of delight from your child … their name helps avoid thier supplies getting lost throughout the year, and you can easily fit online Stuck on You school supply shopping into a busy schedule.
After receiving one child too many in her office misdiagnosed with clinical depression, anxiety, attention deficit or learning disability (by her parents, teachers or even family doctor), Maggie Mamen felt the urge to write The Pampered Child Syndrome, How to Recognize It, How to Manage It and How to Avoid It to share with us her professional observations gathered over twenty years of family counselling. The Ottawa psychologist is adamant that in many cases, the kids’ so-called psychological problems actually are undesirable behaviours unconsciously reinforced by their loving families. It would appear that our kids have their own take on what we’re telling them.
All my friends are intelligent, educated, funny women. Together, we share the same values: respect for others, tolerance, perseverance, humour, gratitude and… an appreciation of girls’ night out. Still, I can’t recall how many times, when comparing notes, we’ve come to the sad conclusion that those nice values don’t seem to be naturally transmitted to our dear children (one would expect some kind of osmosis, you know). Instead, what we get is greedy kids who whine, always want more, don’t do their share, fight with their siblings, talk back to us, lack empathy (not all at the same time luckily, they know better…).
I finally found an interesting explanation in The Pampered Child Syndrome, published in 2004.
The pampered child syndrome
Maggie Mamen holds a PHD in psychology from the University of Carleton. Hers doesn’t have the funny tone of a feel-good book meant to entertain us with anecdotes about how “bad” other people’s kids behave.
She presents us with specific cases of families who’ve come to her for counselling. She points out the subtleties in behaviours between problems that stem from psychological issues and those from the reinforcement of a pampered child’s reactions.
For example, we all know that one of the symptoms of depression is a somber and negative state of mind. The clinically depressed child will show this symptom regardless of the activity he’s undertaking. On the other hand, notes the author, the pampered child will fall into that state of mind only when he’s asked to do something he doesn’t want to do.
The depressed child often sees her overall grades fall. With the pampered child, this fall generally occurs only for the classes she dislikes. The depressed child can burst into a fit for no apparent reason, even in the midst of an activity he normally likes. The pampered child will take a fit if he’s told “no” or when he’s asked to do something against his will.
You see the pattern? The main difference lies in the choice. The pampered children choose their behaviour in accordance with the reaction they know will be generated to their advantage, while the depressed kids have no control over their behaviour.
What we want for our children
Dr. Mamen’s main goal is for parents to accept the possibility that their kids are choosing their bad behaviours, because it works to get what they want.
If you’re thinking: “Great! As if I didn’t already feel guilty enough!”, you’re not alone. The author knows she’s really going against the grain here. She recognizes that “in the current climate, it is politically incorrect to suggest that we parents may have something to do with how our children behave, because this is ‘blaming’ us”. But she wants parents to take back the power they’ve given away because they believed the situation was out of their control.
The psychologist has always felt it imperative to observe the philosophy and family values modeled in her young patients’ daily lives before diagnosing them. Over the years, she’s come up with a list most parents will agree with.
We say we want for our children:
1) to be happy and comfortable
2) to be stimulated and enriched
3) to make their own choices
4) to be included in family decisions
5) to be given reasons for things that they are asked to do
6) to be treated equally and fairly
7) to express their feelings and be heard
8 and, most of all, to have positive self-esteem.
Who would argue with any of these messages?
What children hear
Are the messages received the same as the messages that are sent? Apparently not. And here are the most valuable pointers I got from The Pampered Child Syndrome: suggestions about how distorted some of my messages got in the process.
Compare the above-mentioned messages with the children’s distorted versions Dr. Mamen has observed again and again:
1) I should always be happy and comfortable. When I experience loss or failure, or feel sad, upset, frustrated or disappointed, someone should make me feel better.
2) I should never get bored. I should only be asked to do things that are stimulating and enriching, not things that are tedious and boring. In fact, if it’s not interesting, I won’t do it.
3) No one should tell me what to do; I should be able to make up my mind.
4) Adults should not make any decisions without consulting me first. I should be part of the management team.
5) I will not do anything unless you give me a reason why I should. It must be a good reason. If I don’t agree with the reason, you have to keep looking to find one that I do agree with.
6) I should be treated the same as adults. If other people can do it, I should be able to do it too.
7) I should never do anything unless I feel like doing it. Are you listening? Did you not hear what I said?
8 I should always feel good about myself.
Real food for thought, isn’t it?
All the cases described throughout the book have their roots in one or another of those interpretations kids take from our messages. We get teens reigning over the family’s computer regardless of their siblings’ needs. Closets are overflowing with overlooked toys. Parents disregard unflattering reports from teachers, policemen or any other adults involved in their little angel’s life. Babysitters don’t want to come back to work. Parents are reduced to this only role (no time to manage any other aspect of their lives). Evening meals are from hell. Kids won’t stick to any activity. Kids drop everything if left alone. Kids drain the family’s finances.
And parents wonder why.
How we pamper
The author provides us with a brief survey of the different parenting styles responsible for the main distortions. There’s The Good Servant (when we do EVERYTHING for our children); The Bottomless Pit (when we shower our children with material goods because this is what good parents do); The Lion, The Lioness and Their Cubs (when we make excuses for their behaviors, preventing them from experiencing uncomfortable consequences) and the one that feels closest to home for me, the “Whatever!” parents. As she puts it, this is when “kids know that they can cash in on our tiredness, our guilt, our low tolerance for their unhappiness, and our need to be liked”.
Counterbalancing our message
Dr. Mamen revisits the messages we want to send to our kids with suggestions to restore some balance. Yes, indeed, we want our kids to feel happy and comfortable. But we also want them to understand that sometimes we have to suffer short-term pain in order to experience long-term gain (if you don’t spend all your money on trinkets, you’ll have more to buy things that will really matter). We do want them to have an enriched life but they also need to learn to handle downtime and situations that are tedious and boring (there’s no avoiding the fact it takes a long time to drive from Toronto to Ottawa to see your cousins) or simply normal (one needs to brush her teeth).
In the end, I felt that Maggie Mamen was offering more advice to professionals and teachers to deal with pampered children and their parents than to parents themselves. (Many will be interested to review her list of “Red Flag Responses” that teachers are bound to hear during parent interviews.) Nevertheless, I thought The Pampered Child Syndrome was an excellent starting point to understanding family dynamics.
Parents’ right to be selfish
Too many parents suffer in silence unacceptable behaviours from their brood, thinking that it comes with the territory and taking comfort in the fact that it affects none other than themselves.
I believe parents have the right to be more selfish than this. It is our right to question the behaviours that suck the joy out of our family life (assuming we ourselves understand that being a parent involves situations that are tedious and boring). I feel I owe it to myself to determine the level of chaos I’m willing to put up with in my own house, and to consider the limits of my time, money, and energy when making any family decision that will inevitably have an impact on all my other lives (girlfriend, wife, “career” woman).
After all, mothers are people too! In her personal yet practical 480-page guidebook, author Nathalie Prezeau describes hundreds of outings in and around the GTA she tested with her family and friends over the past twelve years. The 4th edition is out! It includes a new chapter on things to do with the kids around the 69 subway stations in Toronto, as well as exciting city walks to play the tourist in Toronto. Available in the Travel Section of GTA bookstores as well as Mastermind Educational Toys stores and currently at Costco. Visit www.torontofunplaces.com to learn more.
Recently there’s been a lot of discussion about whether restaurants have the right to turn away non-adults, or children/babies simply on the basis of their age. The whole argument strikes me as rather ludicrous. All we have to do is institute certain rules that won’t smack of age-ism or be construed as being baby-ist and we can have a natural selection process take place where the sword might come down on children…or those who simply act like them. These rules could include:
· If you chew with your mouth open, lick your knife or the top of the dessert of the person sitting beside you, you’re out.
· If you interrupt any Mom talking about her busy day with any remark resembling “Not just people with kids are busy, you know.” you’re out.
· If you cry, whine, yell, scream, in a setting where Moms are trying to relax, you’re out.
· If you spit your food out, you’re out.
· If, for any reason, the people traveling with you are required to carry Wet Wipes for your use, you’re out.
· If you wear a bib – or worse, a tucked in napkin or plastic square with a lobster printed on it - you’re out.
· If you didn’t pick out your own outfit this morning, you’re out. (Yes this gets rid of husbands who can’t pick their own shirts either – but really, what type of conversationalist is this guy going to be anyway?)
· If there is the slightest chance you might expel bodily fluids from any orifice while still seated at the table, you’re out.
· If you can’t stop looking at women’s breasts with an overly appreciative and hungry eye…and when you stand up you’re higher than them, you’re out.
Of course, no exclusionary policy would be complete without also instituting VIP membership criteria for good or exceptional behaviour, as well. From my opinion this might be:
· Gurgling, giggling and spontaneously smiling at anything I say.
· Gazing at me with pure adoration and love.
· Holding on to my finger with your entire hand.
Pretty straightforward, I think. It’s not the babies we object to, per se, it’s the unquestionably bad behaviour which we wouldn’t accept at any age. Now sit up straight and start gazing.
Kathy Buckworth’s latest book is “Shut Up and Eat: Tales of Chicken, Children and Chardonnay”, and is available everywhere books are sold. Visit www.kathybuckworth.com or follow Kathy on Twitter at www.twitter.com/kathybuckworth
Kindergarten: giving our little one’s some ”serious independence”
When I think about Kindergarten the first word that comes to mind is independence…. This is a word that is both scary to a child who is about to enter kindergarten and to the parents of that child. For the child… it means they need to start learning to do things on their own… for the parent, they need to allow their child to start doing things on their own. I have had two children so far in this situation. My daughter was very excited to go to kindergarten. She was going with one of her good friends and could not wait to start doing “big girl” things. Needless to say every morning for the first three weeks, at drop off, she cried. My son, on the other hand, spent most of the summer prior telling me that he would not be attending kindergarten…he just simply “was not ready”. On the first morning, his teacher grabbed him and hugged him… and away he went. He never looked back. There is only so much we can do as parents to prepare our children for the steps they will take in life and the rest is up to them.
Here are some ideas that may aid in the transition to kindergarten, for your child and for you.
Chores chart
Allowing your child to start doing things for themselves often gives them the confidence to then go into school and know they are capable of accomplishing tasks assigned to them. Make a chart with the days of the week down one side and 3-5 chores along the top. Put a sticker every time they complete a chore and do something special when they have a day or a week where all of their chores have been done. Chores can include helping to set the table, getting dressed themselves, brushing their teeth, cleaning up their toys.
A,B,C & 1,2,3 Cookies During their kindergarten years children will be learning to recognize and name their letters and numbers. A great way to encourage them to learn is to make some cookie dough and to help them shape the dough into different letters of the alphabet. You can also use the dough to make the shapes of numbers 1-9.
Sugar Cookie Dough:
• ½ cup butter
• 1 cup white sugar
• 1 egg
• 1 ¾ cups flour
• 1 tsp baking powder
• 1 Tbsp milk or water
• ½ tsp vanilla
• Large and small shaped cookie cutters
• Non-stick spray
Method:
1. Place butter, sugar and egg into mixer and mix until creamy
2. Add flour, baking powder, milk and vanilla and continue to mix until smooth. (you can add some extra flour if dough is too sticky or wet)
3. When dough is ready, place bowl in the refrigerator for 20-30 minutes until it is firm
4. Remove dough from the refrigerator and place on a well-floured surface
5. Preheat the oven to 375F and spray a baking sheet with non-stick spray
6. Roll the dough out until it is flat and smooth (I always sprinkle a little flour on the rolling pin before starting, to prevent the dough from sticking to it)
7. Take the dough and shape it into a variety of letters and numbers or take cookie cutters and cut out a variety of shapes
8. Carefully place the cookies on the baking sheet
9. Bake cookies in the oven for 11-14 minutes, until the edges are golden brown in colour
10. Remove from the oven, allow to cool… enjoy!!!
Children will also be learning to identify different shapes in kindergarten so feel free shape the cookie dough into a variety of different shapes such as triangles, squares and circles.
If you are not a baker you can also have a lot of fun shaping play dough into a variety of letters, numbers and shapes.
R & R (Rest and Read)
Looking to spend some good quality time with your cutie pie before he or she is off to school? Summer time offers a great opportunity to start adding reading time into your schedule, while getting in a little snuggle at the same time. In kindergarten, kids start to learn the foundations for reading, and if you already have “reading time” as a part of your everyday schedule, children will embrace this time much better than if they come home with reading and have to fit it in somewhere. Some of my children’s favourites include…
Some tips:
• Pick books about subjects they are interested in
• Try to pick a word you can sound out with them and that they can try recognize throughout the book
Reading with your child also demonstrates to your children the importance of communicating through words
Kindergarten, here we come!
We know we’ll have lots of fun.
Lots of things to make and do.
Reading, writing, counting, too.
Kindergarten, here we come!
We know we’ll have lots of fun.
(dltk-kids.com. Sing to the tune of “Twinkle Twinkle Little Star”)
Shelley Sefton is a chef, recipe developer & creator of “Yummy in my Tummy” - classes for kids that offers them the opportunity to experience exciting adventures in the kitchen – combining education, art, food and most important of all FUN! Contact: (905) 597-0672 or sdsefton@rogers.com.
Or so Popeye used to say in the cartoons I watched when I was a kid. And while there’s something comical and fun about these words, I believe they really do sum up how each of us starts life with certain characteristics that we can never really let go. My Mom gave birth to me in about two hours flat and she said “You came out fast and you really haven’t stopped since.” I could describe how each of my four kids’ births define them, but it would likely segueway into some discussion involving bodily fluids and other gross descriptors.
Instead, I’d going to analyze the traits we see our children displaying from toddlerhood up, and the potential careers that might be naturals for them, incorporating both their positive and challenging personality quirks.
1) Judge: For the kids whose mantra is “It’s not fair!”, this would be the perfect position to allow them to see that while indeed Life is Not Fair, they at least would get to help out someone, plaintiff or defendant, whose entire argument consists of “It’s not fair. You like him better.”
2) Lawyer: Requires great skills of negotiation (“Just one more cookie?”), tenacity (“Please please please please please”), and, let’s just say it, the ability to push one’s own agenda through (“I won’t tell Joey about the last cookie. He doesn’t need to know.”) Also excellent at getting Mom and Dad to take physical dares at cocktail hour. (My toe is healing nicely, thanks.)
3) People Manager: Must have the ability to listen to many sides, negotiate with kindness and fairness, give tough evaluations with a gentle hand, and know when to make difficult choices in delegation and rewards. (Note these same qualities are also awesome for Mothers, especially those on the PTA, to have.)
4) The Arts: Perfect for the child who excels at writing on walls, making guns out of toast, using all the scotch tape and cardboard in the house to make the best parking garage, squirting toothpaste in the style of Monet, and skilled at the ability to imitate Mom and Dad when dancing, singing, or “parenting”.
5) Scientist/Engineer/Inventor: This is a terrific profession for “The Why Guy”. Most families have at least one of these. The little person who says “Why?” about 27 times an hour. We call my Why Guy “Question Boy”, and he wants to be an engineer when he grows up. He thinks they are superheroes. With pocket protectors.
6) Government Employee: If you’ve got a child who loves to line up a bunch of little cars on one side of the room, just to move them across to the other side to line them all up again, you might just have the perfect candidate for an Ottawa job. If you spent 200% more for the cars than you had to, you’re in for sure.
No matter what our kids choose to do when they grow up, or more to the point, whatever chooses them, here’s one more piece of advice: they could grow up to be a writer, like me. It could be your word against his…and his sister the lawyer.
Kathy Buckworth’s latest book is “Shut Up and Eat: Tales of Chicken, Children and Chardonnay”, and is available everywhere books are sold. Visit www.kathybuckworth.com or follow Kathy on Twitter at www.twitter.com/kathybuckworth
Participating AMC theatres are offering $1 admission for movies at 10 am each Tuesday from June 15 through August 10, as a fun and affordable indoor summer option for families.
All admission and concession proceeds will benefit two AMC charities, Variety – The Children’s Charity and the Will Rogers Institute.
WRITTEN BY