My latest book “I Am So The Boss Of You: An 8 Step Guide To Giving Your Family The Business” compares life in the corporate lane to life in the car pool lane, and provides tips on how moms can use corporate structure and rules to rule the household.
But while many concepts are transferrable between home and office, Mother’s Day is an event that is really only celebrated at home, not in the workplace. I don’t think it’s a mistake that it always lands on a Sunday, where it can’t take up precious billable hours between Monday and Friday. But what if we could re-write the calendar and have Mother’s Day land on a workday? How would we be able to tell it’s Mother’s Day versus any other day in the office? I’ve been thinking about this.
You know how moms always tell their kids “every day is Kid’s Day”? First of all, that’s crap, or at least it should be, or they truly are the boss of you and you need to rethink a few things.
But it seems to me that Mother’s Day is pretty much every day in the work world, and not in a good way. Hear me out.
At home moms are privileged to receive the time honoured traditional offering of burnt toast and cold coffee from our own junior employees, which ostensibly is a “treat” and intended so save mom the trouble of doing this herself. Of course the dichotomy is that more often than not, this causes mom more work in the cleaning of the kitchen’s aftermath, or maybe an extra half hour at the gym after breaking her ‘no carbs’ diet just to keep the smile on her proud child’s face.
How might this manifest itself at work? It happens all the time. A badly written proposal can easily cause more work for the mom-manager as she works to get the employee to rewrite it in the way that will be acceptable. And how about a subordinate, who offers to attend a meeting on her behalf, but then makes inappropriate comments or, worse, commits the department to completing extra projects.
I’m not suggesting we tell our kids to stop making us a bad breakfast, or that we don’t assign tasks to learning employees. In fact, it’s the reverse. We need to keep doing this so that they can learn from their mistakes and one day graduate to making an entire unburned meal or being 100% responsible for a professionally executed strategic plan. In this, we are still mothering them every day, all day. So let’s take that second Sunday in May and celebrate Mother’s Day the way it should be celebrated; with other moms, while we assign our employees to eat the toast themselves.
Kathy Buckworth’s latest book “I Am So The Boss Of You: An 8 Step Guide To Giving Your Family “The Business” is available at bookstores everywhere. Visit www.kathybuckworth.com or follow Kathy on Twitter @KathyBuckworth.
There seems to be no limit to how far us moms will go for our kids, or how much we’ll do for our families, but we can’t forget or neglect to take time to care for ourselves too. When we are healthy, happy, and strong, we can do more good, all around. Clear a little time in that busy schedule to do something that makes you feel better than ever, and you’ll be able to pack even more in the rest of the time! (Plus, we deserve it, and our sanity depends on it!).
Get Moving + Shaking
Take a walk or ride a bike with your family around the block, or further. There’s no easier way to get fresh air in your lungs, raise your heart rate, move your muscles, and get friendly with your neighbours! It’s also a fast way to get places and parking is always free! If you’re looking for a change of scenery, try searching online for some great bike trails in your area.
Spend time in the Garden
Not only does growing your own food mean fewer trips to the grocery store, tastier produce, and more money in your pocket, but it’s also incredibly therapeutic, and great for our physical, mental, and spiritual health to dig your hands in the dirt, and plant your own organic fruits and veggies for your family and friends to enjoy. You can visit the market or search online for an incredible variety of organic and heirloom seeds. And for those who don’t have a green thumb (myself included), I call Young Urban Farmers to help me plan, plant, and harvest, and I’m sure you have a service like this near you too if you ask around.
UnDiet your Life
Crunch on carrots. Dance like a four year old. And break rules. All solid advice for an “awesometown” day from nutritionista Meghan Telpner, who is inspiring positive change around the globe with her recently released book, UnDiet. You can forget everything you’ve been taught about dieting or losing weight (best.news.ever.), and discover how amazing and sustainable true health can be as a family!
Lend a Helping Hand
Whether it’s putting up an organic lemonade stand with your kids, volunteering at a local fun fair, or campaigning for a charity (one where you know and approve where the money’s going), giving back is just plain good for the soul. You’ll get connected to your community, teach your children the importance of helping others, and show them that you’re never too small to make a difference in someone’s day.
It’s so hard when I have to, and so easy when I want to. - Annie Gottlier
Lisa Borden, owner of marketing firm, Borden Communications, offers a holistic approach to consciously marketing responsible brands and services. She encourages everyone to be their own expert by offering new perspectives, and helping them find the clarity to uncover simple solutions to daily challenges. She claims that she is not a coach, a consultant, or a concierge, but rather a strategic blend of all of these roles - working to increase efficiencies, revenue, health and happiness. As a consultant to small businesses, corporations, non-profit organizations, school groups and individuals as well as a dynamic campaign and brand ambassador and motivational speaker, her message is always clear. Every action and every dollar matters and has an impact - so we’d better take each step wisely. Together. Follow Lisa on twitter @LisaBorden.
There is so much emphasis on the second Sunday in May, it’s no wonder most of the time it ends up in disappointment and dissatisfaction. Sort of like cramming a year’s worth of love into Valentine’s Day. But just like the opponents of Valentine’s Day claim that you should be making your feelings known year round instead of just on February 14th, I think we need to start thinking about Moms all year round too. Just think kids: Every day can be Mother’s Day!
But putting that responsibility on the people we mother, or the people whose children we mother, is probably only going to lead to more disappointment and frustration. That’s why this year I plan to Re-Matriate* Mother’s Day and make it my own…and make it last for 365 days.
There’s an old joke about a man who complains that his wife doesn’t do anything all day. One day he comes home to find his normally clean house in complete disarray, the kids are unusually messy, unclothed and unfed, and there’s nothing on or in the oven cooking for dinner. He says “What happened here today?” And she responds with “The nothing I do all day? I didn’t do it today.”
So I say every day of the year we find a little way to not do the things we normally do, and not just on Mother’s Day. Things like:
• Stop picking up the dirty socks of anyone over the age of six, found mostly under the couch. Just stop. The owner of the socks will eventually run out and have to go looking for them. You can simply point them in the right direction, should their sense of smell not be fully developed. Or, send them to the store to buy some new ones. Not your problem.
• Refrain from being the person who puts out toilet paper for everyone else to use. Don’t do it. Keep a stash in a bag you take into the bathroom with you every time you go, and see who/if/when the toilet roll gets refilled by anybody else. (Note: Sniff towels periodically – or maybe pay a toddler to do it for you)
• Stop buying beer for “the house” if you (and your friends) don’t drink beer. Does anyone else in the house take care of your tampon supply? It should be noted that this can be a risky manoeuver, however, as in desperate times (i.e. sports playoffs of any kind) , your chardonnay stash may begin to mysteriously deplete. Also, check the vanilla.
• If you are folding anyone else’s clothes, making anyone else’s bed or putting away anyone else’s towels…desist immediately. Don’t most of those people look like they rolled out of an unmade bed and threw on clothes they found on the ground anyway? And those towels? Just remember the toilet paper tip.
We seem to see Mother’s Day as a time to “take off” from doing these domestic duties, when the fact of the matter is, we can reward ourselves by doing a little bit of nothing, every day. Join me, won’t you?
*No, the word rematriate doesn’t exist. But it should. Am I’m taking that on.
Read Funny Mummy every month. Follow Kathy on Twitter @KathyBuckworth and visit www.kathybuckworth.com. Kathy’s 6th book “I Am So The Boss Of You” will be published by McClelland Books in Spring, 2013.
I attended the 2012 North American International Auto Show in Detroit recently, and was pretty impressed with the range of eco-friendly cars that were being unveiled – from the tiny “smart” cars to the hybrids, the electric, and everything in between. It is of course imperative that we do all we can to protect our environment, and all of the car companies seem to get this, and are investing dollars and research in improving the way they do business, and the way the cars run.
But as a Mom, I often find that the environment inside the car can be just as offensive and polluting as the environment outside the car. If you have children, I know you agree with me. So, I am providing some helpful advice to the car manufacturers on some features they might like to start developing for 2013.
1) Purse holder for Moms: We don’t want to put our purses down on top of the sticky, dirty floor mats, and if we hand the purse to the teen in the front seat, he’ll throw it in the back (making sure first that it’s unzipped), whacking an innocent younger sibling on the way back. If we put it in the clean trunk space (let’s assume the trunk space is clean, play along, please) we can’t reach it for the inevitable stop at the coffee shop/fast food restaurant/nice officer with the ticket book in his hand.
2) Sound Barrier: Just a simple sliding glass door between the driver’s row and the back seats would suffice. On certain occasions (ultra long road trips), having one to separate the driver from the instruction-issuing passenger would also be welcome. You know who you are, Mister.
3) Self-Cleaning: I’m imagining something like the self-cleaning public toilets they have in Europe. The entire car/van gets a shower and drains out of the bottom of the floorboards perhaps once a month. Self-heating/air blowers would help hasten the progress of drying the seats prior to the next infestation. Maybe blow out a lavender scent as well.
4) Cones of Silence: These cones need to be installed over every seat. The driver needs to tune out the kids fighting in the back; the kids sitting next to each other wouldn’t be able to hear the insults being hurled at them; and Dad wouldn’t hear that child in the back row who just spilled their blue raspberry slushy. Noise pollution is a real thing; and no more real than when you’re subjected to listening to the repeating and inane video game techno-music coming from the eight year old’s latest hand held device.
5) Signal Blocking: Of course the driver should be unable to text or surf the Internet on their smartphones, but if I can’t do it, I don’t want my teens BBM’ing either. It’s not fair. Unless I’m the passenger and they’re the ones driving me around, then it’s totally fair.
Now these features would make for a really “smart” car.
Kathy Buckworth loves her Buick Enclave. Especially when it’s toxin (i.e. child) free. Follow Kathy on Twitter @KathyBuckworth. Kathy’s next book, “I Am So The Boss of You” will be released by McClelland & Stewart in Spring, 2013.
Recently there’s been a lot of discussion about whether restaurants have the right to turn away non-adults, or children/babies simply on the basis of their age. The whole argument strikes me as rather ludicrous. All we have to do is institute certain rules that won’t smack of age-ism or be construed as being baby-ist and we can have a natural selection process take place where the sword might come down on children…or those who simply act like them. These rules could include:
· If you chew with your mouth open, lick your knife or the top of the dessert of the person sitting beside you, you’re out.
· If you interrupt any Mom talking about her busy day with any remark resembling “Not just people with kids are busy, you know.” you’re out.
· If you cry, whine, yell, scream, in a setting where Moms are trying to relax, you’re out.
· If you spit your food out, you’re out.
· If, for any reason, the people traveling with you are required to carry Wet Wipes for your use, you’re out.
· If you wear a bib – or worse, a tucked in napkin or plastic square with a lobster printed on it - you’re out.
· If you didn’t pick out your own outfit this morning, you’re out. (Yes this gets rid of husbands who can’t pick their own shirts either – but really, what type of conversationalist is this guy going to be anyway?)
· If there is the slightest chance you might expel bodily fluids from any orifice while still seated at the table, you’re out.
· If you can’t stop looking at women’s breasts with an overly appreciative and hungry eye…and when you stand up you’re higher than them, you’re out.
Of course, no exclusionary policy would be complete without also instituting VIP membership criteria for good or exceptional behaviour, as well. From my opinion this might be:
· Gurgling, giggling and spontaneously smiling at anything I say.
· Gazing at me with pure adoration and love.
· Holding on to my finger with your entire hand.
Pretty straightforward, I think. It’s not the babies we object to, per se, it’s the unquestionably bad behaviour which we wouldn’t accept at any age. Now sit up straight and start gazing.
Kathy Buckworth’s latest book is “Shut Up and Eat: Tales of Chicken, Children and Chardonnay”, and is available everywhere books are sold. Visit www.kathybuckworth.com or follow Kathy on Twitter at www.twitter.com/kathybuckworth
Mother’s Day presents the perfect opportunity to show the women in your life how much you appreciate everything they are, and everything they do. We are delighted to bring you lovely gift ideas early, to avoid a last-minute rush. Mother’s Day is May 9.
Mother’s Memories That Can Last a Lifetime
Sponsored Listing Drop In to Tija Ceramics Studio any Sunday in April and make mom something special to last forever. Whether it be a vase with your hand prints, a mug with a special message or a picture frame with your moments, we can help make a lasting impression.
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Bring Mom to the Stratford Shakespeare Festival for FREE on Mother’s Day weekend!
Sponsored Listing Purchase a ticket to Kiss Me, Kate on May 8 and/or 10 and receive a free adult ticket for Mom for that performance! Call our box office at 1-800-567-1600 and quote 32147 to save! For show details and information on our incredible season featuring 12 stunning productions, visit www.stratfordshakespearefestival.com.
Sponsored Listing: De-stress your family life and consider a nanny for your family! Nannies provide quality childcare, light housekeeping & help with dinner. Nannies give you the flexibility to have some time for yourself. International Nannies & Homecare Ltd. has been placing nannies since 1996. Founder is a former overseas nanny with lots of knowledge in the industry.
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Shut Up and Eat: Tales of Chicken, Children and Chardonnay
Sponsored Listing: A no-holds-barred look at that most fraught of family institutions: mealtime! Experts claim that eating meals as a family prevents children from getting into trouble while simultaneously creating close-knit families - that is a lot to ask meatloaf! This is a must-read book for any woman who’s ever wondered: What the hell am I cooking tonight?
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Give Mom a Hand with the NEW Slingsax Shoulder Shopper
Sponsored Listing: Our new Slingsax hands-free shoulder shopping bag ($14) is lightweight, waterproof and folds down to 3 x 2. Adjustable straps, a roomy front pocket plus its made of recycled plastic bottles! Save 20% on any order through April 22*. Use code KIDSCANADA.
Sponsored Listing: Visit the Babytime Show from April 30 to May 2, 2010, to shop, learn and have fun all within one place celebrating parenthood. Discover new and interesting parenting products, the latest gear, maternity clothing, parenting tools, places to go and services, expert led workshops and entertainment for toddlers. Click for a $2 admission coupon.
Drop In to 
Perfectly charming gift ideas for the Moms, (and Grandmas!) on your list! 
Purchase a ticket to 
De-stress your family life and consider a nanny for your family! Nannies provide quality childcare, light housekeeping & help with dinner. Nannies give you the flexibility to have some time for yourself. 
A no-holds-barred look at that most fraught of family institutions: mealtime! Experts claim that eating meals as a family prevents children from getting into trouble while simultaneously creating close-knit families - that is a lot to ask meatloaf! This is a 
Written by Nadine Hughes, “The Groove Mamma Goes Gourmet - Easy Ways To Put The Fun Back Into Entertaining”, is part party planning, part menu and recipe planning, and part life coaching book all in one. Available for $7.99 at 
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Visit the