MY BROTHER WAS PRETTY UPSET WHEN HE REALIZED THAT SANTA CLAUS DIDN’T BRING MY DAD BACK*

Kids Help Phone counsellors brace themselves for kids’ heightened feelings of sadness and loneliness during the Holiday Season

TORONTO, ON – November 4, 2010 The happy holiday season can be a myth for many young Canadians. As early as mid-November, kids, teens and young adults across Canada are showing signs of tension, worrying about more than just what will be under the Christmas tree.  Kids Help Phone counsellors know that “the most wonderful time of the year� also brings its fair share of stress.

Divorce. Depression. Loneliness. Budgets. Illness.  Unemployment. Hectic schedules. They don’t sound like kids’ issues, but they are. “Families want their holidays to be special and happy for everyone, especially the children,� says Louise Longo, one of the 100 Kids Help Phone counsellors that will be available day or night to talk to young Canadians this holiday season.

“Kids learn early on that the holidays are supposed to be picture-perfect family gatherings filled with wonderful gifts. They don’t know how to cope with their own sadness, loneliness or anxieties when the pressure to have a good time is quite high.�

Kids who reach out to Kids Help Phone during the holiday season will share concerns and questions that overwhelmingly fit three categories;

Family Issues: kids are heading into the holidays with their parents’ divorce looming over the season, or are adjusting to their first year in a blended family, or the reality of spending their holiday in a new foster home.

Peer Issues: some of them are worried about being left out at school if they don’t have the latest hi-tech gadget, others are finding it hard to reconcile what they see and hear about the holidays with their family’s own religious or cultural traditions.

Managing Emotions: the holidays are a particularly stressful time for the anxious kid, who has to deal with the parties and the disrupted routine. New Year’s Eve may also be a time for sad reflections, and for some it can trigger an overwhelming sense of low self-esteem because of the pressure to be invited to parties, or to celebrate with a special someone.

Whatever the source, the stress is very real. Adults need to learn to read the signs; a young person who becomes withdrawn, moody, or depressed could be showing symptoms of holiday stress.

Kids Help Phone, Canada’s leading mental health youth counselling service, believes kids have the ability to find answers and solutions in creating their own healthy outcome.  Counsellor Louise Longo recommends that caregivers take the time to talk with their kids about how they’re feeling, and be supportive of their kids’ suggestions on how to alleviate their stress.

“No one is immune to intense feelings. It’s important that kids know someone’s there to listen,� Longo says.

Here are some suggestions to ensure the holiday season lives up to its reputation:

• Take the opportunity of a talk (or family discussion) to refocus the holidays. Steer kids from material goods and ask for their ideas; it could be a family outing to go skating, or tobogganing. It could be to attend a multi-cultural event or service in celebration of the season, or even to help out, as a family, at a food bank or soup kitchen.

• Consider starting a new family tradition. It could be the Hooray for the Holidays Movie Night, complete with hot chocolate and cookies; a Family Board Game Night, or something as simple as a Pizza Night, where everyone sits down to help wrap gifts.

• Don’t underestimate how a blended family can impact your kids; you may be looking at crazy schedules, more obligations, change of traditions, and lots of time traveling between gatherings and get-togethers. Involve the kids and lay out the schedule in advance to ensure they feel acknowledged.

• Pay attention to your own stress, and talk to friends for support as you add holiday preparations to your already hectic life.

• Don’t overschedule your kids, or plan extra chores or play dates for them around the holidays. Remember they’re on holidays and need some down time, too.

About Kids Help Phone
Kids Help Phone is Canada’s only phone and online counselling service for youth. It’s free, anonymous and confidential.  Professional counsellors are available any time of the day or night, 365 days a year, to help young people deal with concerns large or small.  As a national community-based charity, Kids Help Phone relies on individual and corporate donations to fund these vital services.

About Louise Longo
Louise Longo has worked with young people in a variety of settings, from handicapped kids in Victoria, BC,
to families and kids in shelters in the Toronto’s downtown core. She has spent the last 14 years as a full-time counsellor with Kids Help Phone; Louise has worked both the nights and day shifts, responding to young people’s questions and concerns by phone and online.

*   post from Kids Help Phone Ask Us Online counselling service, edited to protect the anonymity of the client

Learn more at: www.kidshelpphone.ca

Do Your “Leaky Pipes� Have You Feeling Older Than You’d Like?

WRITTEN BY
Kim Vopni

We’re not talking about the kind of pipes you need a plumber to fix, we’re talking about the ones YOU can fix!  We’re talking about your pelvic floor muscles and you heard right - you can fix them.

Close to 1 million Canadian women are affected by urinary incontinence in its varying forms and most are either too embarrassed to talk about it, unaware of the treatment options available or simply believe it is just a fact of life.

Incontinence is not an illness, but rather a dysfunction and most women can eliminate or improve their dysfunction through simple exercises designed to strengthen their pelvic floor muscles.  When weak, the pelvic floor muscles are unable to perform their role of supporting the bladder and reproductive organs and allowing the urethra, vagina and rectum to function properly. This can lead to several challenges but most frequently it means urinary incontinence.

Stress Incontinence
This is the most common type, affecting close to 50% of women with pelvic floor challenges.  Varying amounts of urine leak out when they laugh, cough, sneeze or exercise.  Stress incontinence is caused by damaged or weakened pelvic floor muscles often as a result of pregnancy, childbirth and hormonal changes from menopause.

Urge Incontinence
Typically urge incontinence is most commonly seen in older women as result of the involuntary contraction of a muscle in the bladder.  The result is an urgent and frequent need to empty the bladder, even when it is not full.  This type of incontinence is often due to surgery, nerve damage, or other conditions such as fibroids or tumours.

Overflow Incontinence
Affecting a smaller number of women, overflow incontinence occurs when small amounts of urine leak out frequently over the course of a day, even without laughing or sneezing.  This type of incontinence is often due to muscle or nerve problems that prevent the ‘full bladder’ message from reaching the brain.

Mixed Incontinence
As the name implies, mixed incontinence occurs when a women suffers from more than one type of incontinence at the same time.  The most common combination is Urge and Stress incontinence, especially in older women.

The muscles of the pelvic floor respond very well to exercise and the exercises can be done anytime, anywhere.  Simply contract, (visualize stopping the flow of urine) hold for 10 seconds and then relax for 10 seconds.  This contraction and relaxation process is commonly referred to as a Kegel.  Repeat 10-20 times and you’re done!  Gradually you will be able to hold your contractions for longer and complete more repetitions which shows your strength is improving.  Done consistently, most women will notice a difference in as little as 2 weeks.

Unsure if you are using the right muscles?  Try gently inserting a finger or two into your vagina and contract - you should feel your fingers being squeezed.  If you are still unsure, there are several pelvic floor exercise devices that use biofeedback that allow you to see your contractions and will also show your strength improvements too.

If after trying the exercise program you are still experiencing trouble you can also seek assistance from your physician, or a physiotherapist who specializes in the pelvic floor.

So stop suffering and take back your life!  Fix your leaky pipes by taking control of your pelvic floor wellness. 

Disclaimer: The information provided in this article is not intended as a substitute for consulting your Health Care Professional.

Kim holds a BA in Psychology from the University of Western Ontario and a Post Graduate Diploma in Kinesiology from Simon Fraser University.  She became a certified personal trainer/fitness instructor in 1996 and has experience with a variety of populations in one-on-one and group settings.  Kim’s continued passion for health and wellness has her pursuing further certifications in women’s health and wellness with a specialized emphasis on pre/post natal and pelvic floor client groups.  Her website is www.pelvicfloorwellness.com

©Kim Vopni 2009